Monday, March 22, 2010

Sparkle-cakes and LOLcats

It was a dark, gray, rainy Monday. The kind of day that makes you want to stay in bed a little longer, laze around reading, and generally loaf. It's also the kind of day that sparkle-skinned vampires love. Not that I know any personally. But I hear tales. It's also a good day for seeing a movie with friends. And celebrating birthdays. 
The Trocadero, my favorite venue for ANYTHING in Philadelphia, shows movies on Mondays. It's 3 bucks to get in, but those 3 dollars come back to you in the form of a drink. And they have buckets of PBR and cheap popcorn and other kinds of awesomeness. On this particular Monday, they were showing a certain sequel to a very popular series about vampires. What's that? You're not sure what I'm talking about? Well, I think this will clear it up for you here. A Certain Friend (who shall remain nameless) thought it'd be the best birthday ever to get some ladies together (who shall also remain nameless) and one REALLY good sport of a dude, and go see this movie. With lots of buckets of PBR of course. Other dudes/boyfriends were asked to join, but said they'd "rather be punched in the face" than go. Their loss. 
So in honor of the Pacific-Northwest kind of weather we'll be having this week, and as a special birthday treat for our festivities, I made some vampire cakes. Sparkle-vampire cakes. Vegan red velvet cupcakes. Vegan Cream Cheese frosting. Really silly decorations. 
I started by making a handsome, sparkly-skinned, amber-eyed vampire that would make all the ladies swoon. Then I made a few more, because honestly, there's never enough good men to go around. 
But while I was busy decorating the others, something must have happened. One of the cupcakes got wounded. 
So I looked back over the army of dreamy, gentlemanly bloodsuckers I had created and realized one of them wasn't what he seemed at first. 
You know the only way to kill a vampire cupcake? You have to tear him apart and eat the pieces. It's the ONLY way. 
If I hadn't done it, who knows what could have happened? Vampire cupcakes could have taken over the city! You're welcome, Philadelphia...

I took the rest to the movies, and passed them out to friends. Then we proceeded to laugh for 2+ hours. Well, maybe less laughing and more cackling. And heckling. Lots of heckling. And we weren't the only ones. Have you ever gone to see a movie in Philadelphia? Have you ever gone to see a terrible movie in Philadelphia when everyone knows it's terrible and can heckle the entire time? Best three dollars I EVER SPENT. The cupcakes weren't bad either.


  1. First of all: best blog post ever.

    I totally fell asleep giggling to myself. Whenever I'd start to settle down I'd think of "my eyes are up here!" or any part of the overheard bathroom conversation and I'd fall to pieces all over again.

    Sad news: I FORGOT TO BRING MY VAMPIRE CUPCAKE TO WORK. Barooooo. I'll eat him tonight for dinner.

  2. I tried to explain it all to Ken, but since he has limited working knowledge of the movies/books or lolcats, let alone the lolcats version of the movie, it took forever to explain it all, and he didn't get it anyway. When he asked me, "Why do they write and spell things that way?" I gave up. Wasn't worth it.

  3. These look amazing. By the way, your attention to detail with the eye color is extraordinary...not that I would know or anything...

  4. can you make a werewolf cupcake with its shirt off?

  5. I don't know if I could fit all of that onto a cupcake. I could definitely recreate the 8-pack abs though...

  6. In addition to Abbie's note about eye-color, might I add that Edwards' 'wall-eyed' look is also pretty fantastic.

    OMG it finally happened! He stared so hard his eyes went wonky!