How NOT to Make Thai Tofu Green Curry

I'm not a chef. I've never claimed to be. I'm a baker. Some people can bridge the gap and do both well. I'm not one of those people. I leave most the cooking to my boyfriend Ken who is quite the snack master. And because most of the time I venture to make dinner it ends in tummy aches and ruined pots.

Here's the thing: I don't like to babysit my food. I don't mind doing extensive prep work as long as I get to pop it in the oven, set the timer, and forget about it for awhile. It's why I love baking. Most recipes have built-in coffee breaks. If I've got to be standing over a stove tending and nurturing a dish, I'm going to end up walking away and ruining it. I don't have the time or patience to coddle you, Risotto. But what's that you say, Lasagne? After I assemble you, I can leave you to do your own thing in the oven? Well then, I think we can be friends.

So when asked to make a dish outside of my comfort zone for the next challenge in Project Food Blog, I knew it had to be a stovetop dish. As soon as I'm pre-heating that oven, I automatically feel like things are a little more right in the universe. You want to make me uncomfortable? Hand me a wok and some vegetables. I'll be cranky and whining in no time. And that's exactly what I did to myself last week.

For challenge two I decided to tackle a classic Thai dish, and one of my favorites: Green Curry. It fit the profile perfectly: a classic ethnic stovetop dish that required some babysitting to develop flavors and cook vegetables. [Insert ominous music here.]

I also love any excuse to hit up the asian supermarket. It's documented here. So I made my shopping list, grabbed $20, and headed to Oregon Market. It's go time.

If you don't have any asian markets near you, I'm really sorry. They're a great source of cheap produce, tofu, exotic sauces, and entertainment. If you're vegan/vegetarian, I recommend staying as far away as possible from the meat case. But if you've been thinking about going vegan/vegetarian, go to your nearest asian market and walk immediately to the meat case. You'll quit cold turkey (pun intended).

The irony of this particular asian market is that even though I know every ingredient I need for my recipe is in there, that doesn't mean I'll get everything I need. This is for two reasons: 1. Good luck finding someone who both understands AND speaks english and 2. although the packaged goods almost always have an English translation, only about 1/3 of the produce is clearly labeled in any language. And getting adventurous in the asian market's produce section is a level of risky behavior that I'm just not comfortable with.

Because I couldn't find the kaffir lime leaves or the galangal the recipe called for, I settled for the pre-made green curry paste (which still took me an hour to find). And I got all this stuff for $15. Vegetarian fish sauce, green curry paste, fried tofu, coconut milk and a slew of produce. Not too shabby.

I wanted to make the curry close to the version I get from my local Thai take-out. While researching Green Curry recipes, I found that though the curry sauce remained mostly constant, the vegetables and meats seemed to vary by author. I decided to follow the recipe for the curry, and guess at the rest of the ingredients in the take-out version. This was probably mistake #1. [Ominous music cue 2]

The curry came together really well. It was very fragrant, and had a great mellow heat but deep flavor. But once I started adding the vegetables, everything went downhill. Perhaps I didn't allow the vegetables to saute long enough. Perhaps I should have let the tofu heat in the sauce longer. Perhaps I added too many vegetables. Perhaps I should have measured the vegetables before tossing them in. Perhaps I should stop thinking I can wing it with things I'm not familiar with and follow a freakin' recipe already. Who knows? There were a lot of variables.

All I know is that it looked and smelled lovely, but it tasted TERRIBLE. I took a few bites, and threw the rest of mine away. Ken, who can usually choke down the worst of what I serve him, ate about half of his, slyly dumped the rest, and made sure to let me know he wouldn't mind if I got rid of the leftovers. Add it to the long list of dinner FAILS that have come out of my kitchen. We both agreed, I should really stick to desserts.

I've heard that eggplant can be a really fickle mistress. I think I'll blame it on the eggplant, and continue to work on my vegetable sauteing skills. Do any of you have an awesome green curry recipe? Or have some tips on working with veggies, tofu and curry sauces in a wok? I'M ALL EARS. For now, I'll share the recipe I used, and hope you've got better skills than me.

Thai Tofu Green Curry
(adapted from Squidoo)

1-2 Tbsp vegetable oil
1 Tbsp soft dark brown sugar
2 lemongrass stalks
14fl oz of coconut milk
6-8 Kaffir lime leaves (if you can find them; I used lime zest instead)
Thai fish sauce (several brands make a vegetarian version, if you can't find it, you can use soy sauce)
cilantro
1/2 lime zested, and juiced
2 Tbsp green curry paste
1 eggplant, sliced
1 cup green beans
Tofu (I used packaged fried tofu, but you can use regular extra firm tofu, drained and cubed)
Thai basil and sprouts for garnish

Peel away the outer leaves of the lemongrass, cut into pieces and crush each piece with the flat end of a knife to release the fragrance. Heat the oil in a wok or large frying pan. Add the green curry paste and sugar and heat over very high heat for about a minute, stir with lemongrass. Reduce heat slightly and add the lime zest (or leaves, if using). Add the coconut milk and fish sauce and reduce heat, simmering and allowing the curry to thicken slightly. Add the tofu, and allow to heat and absorb flavors for several minutes. Add vegetables, and allow to cook about 5-7 minutes, or until reached desired tenderness (You don't really want to listen to me on this part anyway, this is where I messed up!). Check seasonings, and add more fish sauce, thai basil and cilantro to taste. Use sprouts as garnish, if desired. Serve over jasmine rice.